I recently delivered a motivational session to a group of women who are partners of those in the military. Often they are the ones providing support in the form of caring for children, household, other family members etc. whilst their loved one is on a posting or mission in some other part of the world – often in dangerous circumstances. And these women can end up being the ones who focus so much on everyone else, they don’t find time, or invest time in being “selfish” and doing things for themselves.
During the course of the event, I shared my stories about achieving things that you don’t imagine are possible, and that at times being focused on “oneself” you can be a role model and inspire others.
At the end of the event, the women were invited to complete a commitment card – where they write down one action that they will take as a result of what they have heard or learned. I make the commitment to follow up with them in a month to find out how they are progressing. It is well known that if you write down a goal and you share it with someone else and update them on progress, you are far more likely to remain committed to taking the action, than if you just keep it to yourself. Hence the impotrance of my follow up contact.
One month on, and I contacted those who had expressed to me what their actions would be. I was delighted and humbled to read their responses. Some had achieved benefits far more than they had ever imagined, and others had found that the “self”ish focus had improved their relationship with their family members and they had learned some positive lessons about their capabilties.
So I think being selfish can be beneficial. Like any strength of course it can bring negative outcomes if overused. But in this case, giving women permission to focus on being selfish brought delight and happiness to many others too. Why not try it for yourself today – invest in a little “me” time!